笑死人不偿命的英语笑话

笑话来源于生活，却又可以让我们的生多些欢乐、开心，现在，一起来开心爆笑下。

笑死人不偿命的英语笑话一：YouMayFeelALittlePrick

Aguyandagirlmeetatabar.Theygetalongsowellthattheydecidetogotothegirl'splace.Afewdrinkslater,theguytakesoffhisshirtandthenwasheshishands.Hethentakesoffhispantsandwasheshishands.Thegirlwatcheshimandsays,"Youmustbeadentist"

Theguy,surprised,says"Yes...howdidyoufigurethatout?"

Thegirlsays,"Easy...youkeepwashingyourhands."Onethingledtoanotherandtheymakelove.Aftertheyweredone,thegirlsays,"Youmustbeagreatdentist."

Theguy,nowwithaboostedegosays,"Yes,Isureamagreatdentist.Howdidyoufigurethatout?"

Thegirlsays,"Easy...Ididn'tfeelathing!"

笑死人不偿命的英语笑话二：ConfusedChild

LittleJohnnycamehomefromschoolwithanotefromhisteachersayingthatJohnnywashavingtroubletellingthedifferencebetweenboysandgirls,andwouldhismotherpleasesitdownandhaveatalkwithJohnnyaboutthis.SoJohnny'smothertakeshimquietlybythehandupstairstoherbedroom,andclosesthedoor.

"First,Johnny,Iwantyoutotakeoffmyblouse",shesaid,soJohnnyunbuttonsherblouseandtakesitoff."O.K.,nowtakeoffmyskirt",andhetakesoffherskirt."Nowtakeoffmybra",whichhedoes.

"Andnow,Johnny,pleasetakeoffmypanties".Johnnyfinishesremovingthesetoo.

Hismotherthensays,"Johnny,PLEASEdon'twearanyofmyclothestoschoolanymore!

笑死人不偿命的英语笑话三：UglyBaby

Amiddle-agedcouple,withtwobeautifuldaughters,decidedtotryonelasttimeforthesontheyalwayswanted.

Soon,thewifebecamepregnant,and,ninemonthslater,deliveredababyboy.

Thejoyfulfatherrushedtothenurserytoseehisnewson,butwashorrifiedtofindanincredibly-uglybaby.

Hewenttohiswifeandsaid,"Icannotpossiblybethefatherofthathideouschild.LookatthetwobeautifuldaughtersIfathered."

Whenhiswifeblushed,hebecamesuspicious,anddemanded,"Haveyoubeenfoolingaroundonme?"

Hiswifeconfessed,"Notthistime."

笑死人不偿命的英语笑话四：MakingFishStix

Onedayalittleboywalkedinonhisparentsdoingitandaskedwhattheyweredoing.Theparents'replywasthattheyweremakingfishsticks.Sothelittleboyleftitatthat.

Afewnightslaterthelittleboywalksinonthemagain,andthistimeheasks,"Areyoumakingfishsticksagain?"Theparentsbothreplyyes.

Theboyremarks,"Well,mom,youhavealittletartarsauceonyourmouth.

笑死人不偿命的英语笑话五：FirstOperation

Twolittlekidsareinahospital,lyingonstretchersnexttoeachother,outsidetheoperatingroom.Thefirstkidleansoverandasks,"Whatareyouinherefor?"

Thesecondkidsays,"I'minheretogetmytonsilsoutandI'malittlenervous."

Thefirstkidsays,"You'vegotnothingtoworryabout.IhadthatdonewhenIwasfour.Theyputyoutosleep,andwhenyouwakeuptheygiveyoulotsofJell-Oandicecream.It'sabreeze!"

Thesecondkidthenasks,"Whatareyouherefor?"

Thefirstkidsays,"Acircumcision."

Andthesecondkidsays,"Whoa!IhadthatdonewhenIwasborn.Icouldn'twalkforayear!"

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