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Whatabundleofcontradictionsisaman!Surely,humouristhesavinggraceofus,forwithoutitweshoulddieofvexation.Withme,nothingillustratesthecontrarinessofthingsbetterthanthematterofsleep.if,forexample,myintentionistowriteanessay,andihavebeforemeinkandpensandseveralsheetsofvirginpaper,youmaydependuponitthatbeforeihavegoneveryfarihaveanoverpoweringdesireforsleep,nomatterwhattimeofthedayitis.istareatthereproachfullyblankpaperuntilsightsandsoundsbecomedimandconfused,anditisonlybyaneffortofwillthaticancontinueatall.Eventhen,iproceedhalf-heartedly,inakindofdream.Butletmebebetweenthesheetsatalatehour,andicandoanythingbutsleep.Betweenchimeandchimeoftheclockicanwriteessaysbythescore.Fascinatingsubjectsandnobleideascomepell-mell,eachwithitsappropriateimageryandexpression.Nothingstandsbetweenmeandhalf-a-dozenimperishablemasterpiecesbutpens,ink,andpaper.
ifitbetruethatourthoughtsandmentalimagesareperfectlytangiblethings,likeourbooksandpictures,totheinhabitantsofthenextworld,theniammakingformyselfabetterreputationtherethaniaminthisplace.Givemearestlesshourortwoinbedandicansolvetomyownsatisfaction,allthedoubtsofhumanity.Wheniaminthehumouricancomposegrandsymphonies,andpaintmagnificentpictures.iamatonce,Shakespeare,Beethoven,andMchaelangelo,yetitgivesmenosatisfaction;fortheonthingicannotdoistogotosleep.
Onceinthebed,whenitistimetoclosethefiveportsofknowledge,mostfolksiknowseemtofindnodifficultyinplungingtheirearthlypartsintooblivion.itisnotsowithmetowhomsleepisacoymistress,muchgiventoateasinginconsistencyandforeverdemandingtobewooed-“lesttoolightwinningmaketheprizelight.”iusedtoreadwithwonder,thosesycophanticstoriesofthewarlikesuperman,thegreattroublesoftheworld’speace,Cromwell,Napoleon,andthelike,who,thankstotheir“ironwills,”couldliedownandplungethemselvesimmediatelyintodeepsleep,towakeup,refreshed,atagiventime.Takingthesefablestoheart,iwouldresolvetodolikewise,andgoingtobed,wouldclenchmyteeth,lookasdeterminedaspossibleinthedarkness,andcommandtheimmediatepresenceofsleep.Butalas!theveryactofconcentrationseemedtomakememorewakefulthanever,andiwouldpasshoursintormentingsleeplessness.ihadoverlookedthenecessityofhavingan“ironwill,”myownpowersofwillhavinglittleornoneofthispeculiarmetallicquality.Buthowuncomfortableitmusthavebeenlivingwiththeseironwilledfolks!Whowouldwanttoremonstrateandarguewiththem?itwouldbeworsethanbeatingananvilwithasledge-hammer.imustconfessthatialwayssuspectthemenwhoboastthattheyunvaryinglyfallasleepassoonastheygetitthebed-those“assoonasmyheadtouchesthepillow”fellows.Tome,thereissomethinginhuman,somethingcallousandalmostbovine,inthepractice.isuspecttheirtasteinhighermatters.ironwillsapart,theremustbealackofhumansympathyordepthinamanwhocanthusthrowoff,withhisclothes,hiswakingfeelingsandthoughts,andignorecompletelythosememoriesandfancieswhich共2页,当前第1页12※本文作者:未知※
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